Early Days
Hi, seeing a newborn reminds me of the many babies I have met both personally and through my work in Early Years Settings. Through study and observation certain common threads have developed. I thought they may be useful for the many new parents out there ,so I thought I would share them.
Being parents for the first time can be very challenging. Babies, unlike washing machines, do not come with a manual and a one size fits all approach does not work either. As new parents you will have likely gone through an exhausting birth, your hormones will be all over the place, and that is both parents, as well as the physiological and emotional changes for new mums, dads will have also experienced a gambit of mixed emotions such as stress, excitement, fear, euphoria and the weight of responsibility that comes when you become a parent.
Being a parent for the first time is a series of
firsts and also requires making decisions without any experience but overwhelmed with advice. This is all
combined with feeling exhausted, as you are unlikely to be getting your usual
quota of sleep and are often on an emotional rollercoaster. Though not enough
people talk about this period, all the feelings you may be experiencing are
quite normal and after a period of adjustment things will become easier and you
will start to enjoy your new adventure together.
Early Survival Guide
There are things that you can consider doing while you establish your own way
of doing things, to make life a little easier.
Remember you are all learning, and everyone’s
journey is different.
If you are lucky enough to be offered help,
accept it, even if it is only with cooking and cleaning. We all need help at
some time in our life.
Try to establish patterns of behaviour that
work for you and your family. For example, you don’t have to put your baby down
to sleep at exactly the same time, but it is useful for your baby to get used
to what sleep time feels like; a feed, a wash/nappy change, calm time with a
story, a song or gentle talking.
Formal
routines suit some families and not others, but establishing patterns that help
your baby understand where you are in your family’s day is beneficial for all
of you. Babies have no life experience, they will not establish patterns
without a little assistance but will gain confidence from having some, even
loose ones.
Be flexible, although a little persistence is
needed to establish patterns, if you feel something isn’t working try something
different, making mistakes is part of learning anything and as each baby and
set of parents is unique, it really is often about trial and error.
Be kind to yourself and talk to friends, family
or professionals about how you personally are feeling.
If help is there, take a break and have a bath,
sleep etc while someone else watches the baby.
Try to focus on the positives; your child is
clean, well fed, loved, healthy and happy a lot of the time, that is a huge
achievement in itself. Be proud of your achievements as well as focusing on
what you still want to achieve.
Consider getting out of the house
each day, even if just for a walk (either with a sling or pushchair) It is
good for both mental and physical health.
Think about parent and baby groups,
they are fun and a great peer support as well
It might take time and many
attempts to establish some familiar patterns but you will get there eventually.
Remember this very challenging phase will pass, you will gain in confidence and
develop patterns that work for you, and your family. You will start to
experience the thrill of this new adventure.
Good luck to all the new parents
out there 😊
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